Dear Income-Obsessed Investor,

While your neighbors are bragging about their 2% dividend ETFs (bless their hearts), you're about to discover how to potentially triple your investment income without diving into the murky waters of those "too good to be true" ultra-high-yield traps.

The secret? Closed-End Funds (CEFs) are sophisticated yet oddly overlooked income vehicles that have been quietly filling the coffers of in-the-know income investors for decades.

In today's special issue, we're pulling back the curtain on how CEFs can transform your income portfolio from a gentle stream of dividends into a veritable cash flow river. And this one has substance, unlike that sketchy "guaranteed 15% returns" pitch your brother-in-law won't stop talking about at family dinners.

IN THIS ISSUE:

• CEF 101: What on earth are these magical income creatures, and why don't more people talk about them at parties?

• Double-Dipping Done Right: How to collect fat distributions AND profit from narrowing discounts

• The CEF All-Stars: Our analysis of UTG, PDI, and other income powerhouses that deserve a spot in your portfolio

• Discount Hunting: Where to find CEFs currently trading at fire-sale prices relative to their actual value

• The Perfect CEF Portfolio: How to build a diversified collection of CEFs that can weather any market storm while keeping your income flowing

So grab your favorite beverage (you might want to upgrade to the good stuff, your portfolio might soon be able to afford it), settle into your most comfortable chair, and let's explore how CEFs could be the missing piece in your income-investing puzzle.

WHAT ARE CEFs? The Income Investment You've Been Missing

If investment vehicles were at a high school dance, Exchange-Traded Funds (ETFs) would be the popular kids with a crowd around them, mutual funds would be the reliable teachers chaperoning the event, and Closed-End Funds would be those engaging, slightly mysterious transfer students that only the savviest kids know are the coolest ones there.

The CEF Basics: Not Your Average Fund

Closed-End Funds are precisely what their name suggests: funds with a ‘closed’, or fixed, number of shares. Unlike their cousins, ETFs and mutual funds can create new shares on demand as investors pour money in, CEFs raise a fixed amount of capital through an IPO, and then ... that's it. The door closes, the party starts, and no new guests are allowed in unless an existing shareholder sells their ticket. (Yes, there are some exceptions, which we will discuss another day!)

This seemingly simple structural difference creates a fascinating market dynamic that income-focused investors can exploit for enhanced yield and capital appreciation opportunities.

Why CEFs Often Pay More Than Your Traditional Dividend Stocks

CEFs typically offer yields that make traditional dividend aristocrats look positively stingy. While a solid dividend ETF like SCHD might pay you around 3-4%, many well-managed CEFs distribute a hearty 7-9% or even more. How do they perform this income alchemy?

1. They use leverage (responsibly): Many CEFs borrow at lower rates to invest more, amplifying returns. It's like having a mortgage to buy rental properties, except instead of dealing with tenants who never pay on time, you're collecting dividends and interest payments.

2. They're not obsessed with daily inflows and outflows: Since CEFs don't have to keep cash on hand to handle daily redemptions, they can stay fully invested and exploit less liquid, high-yielding opportunities.

3. They can trade at discounts to their actual value: This is the real magic. Unlike ETFs, which trade very close to the value of their holdings, CEFs often trade at significant discounts to their Net Asset Value (NAV). Buying a dollar's worth of assets for 90 cents is a good deal in any universe.

The Discount/Premium Dynamic: Where Smart Money Makes Its Move

Here's where CEFs get genuinely interesting for strategic investors. Let's look at a real-world example:

UTG (Reaves Utility Income Fund) currently holds a portfolio of quality utility stocks worth approximately $32.00 per share (NAV). However, you can often buy it on the market for around $30.00, a 6% discount to its actual holdings. Think about that … you're essentially buying companies like NextEra Energy and Southern Company at 94 cents on the dollar.

Even better, these discounts aren't static. They expand and contract over time based on market sentiment, creating opportunities for the patient investor to buy when discounts widen and potentially sell when they narrow. It's like shopping at Nordstrom Rack, except instead of last season's slightly irregular sweaters, you're getting quality income-producing assets at markdown prices.

The CEF Advantage Checklist:

✓ Higher yields than comparable ETFs and individual dividend stocks
✓ Monthly distributions from many CEFs (who doesn't love getting paid monthly?)
✓ Discount opportunities for buying assets below their actual value
✓ Professional management in niches and strategies is often unavailable elsewhere
✓ Reduced volatility in many cases due to their income-focused mandate

Now that you understand the basics, you might wonder why everyone and their financial advisor aren't piling into CEFs. The truth? Most retail investors either haven't heard of them or don't understand them. Their loss is potentially your gain.

In the next section, we'll dive deeper into specific strategies for maximizing these unique investment vehicles' income and capital appreciation potential. But first, a word of caution: Not all CEFs are created equal, and discernment is crucial. Some funds trade at discounts because they deserve to, while others represent genuine opportunities.

The good news? We're about to show you how to tell the difference.

CEF INCOME STRATEGIES: Double-Dipping Your Way to Bigger Returns

If you've made it this far, congratulations! You're already more knowledgeable about CEFs than 95% of retail investors. Now let's talk about how to make money with these excellent income vehicles. There are two primary ways to profit from CEFs, and the beauty is that you can employ both simultaneously – like eating your cake and having it too, except in this case, the cake is made of dividend checks.

Strategy #1: The Distribution Machine – Getting Paid While You Wait

The most obvious appeal of CEFs is their juicy distributions. I say "distributions" rather than "dividends" because what CEFs pay out can come from various sources:

• Dividends from the stocks they hold

• Interest from bonds in their portfolio

• Capital gains from selling appreciated securities

• Return of capital (more on this controversial character in a moment)

Let's look at some real-world examples of distribution powerhouses:

PDI (PIMCO Dynamic Income Fund) currently yields around 13%. That's not a typo. While your bank offers you 0.01% on your savings account with a straight face, PDI has consistently paid monthly distributions that equate to double-digit annual yields. The fund holds a diversified portfolio of fixed-income securities, with the expert PIMCO team at the helm.

UTG (Reaves Utility Income Fund) offers a more modest but still impressive 7% yield, primarily from a portfolio of utility stocks. What makes UTG special is its 18+ year track record of maintaining (and occasionally raising) its distribution – a remarkable achievement that should make any income investor's heart flutter just a little.

Monthly vs. Quarterly: The Frequency Question

Many CEFs pay monthly distributions rather than quarterly. For retirees, aligning investment income with monthly expenses can be particularly attractive. Funds like UTG, PDI, and many others from major CEF sponsors like BlackRock, Nuveen, and PIMCO have embraced the monthly distribution model.

Is a monthly payer better than quarterly? For pure total return, no. But monthly distributions have clear advantages for lifestyle planning and psychological comfort (who doesn't like getting paid more often?).

The Return of Capital Controversy: Friend or Foe?

Perhaps no aspect of CEFs causes more confusion (or pearl-clutching among financial purists) than Return of Capital (ROC) distributions. In simple terms, ROC means the fund is giving back some of your money rather than income generated from investments.

But is that bad? It depends:

• "Destructive" ROC occurs when a fund is underperforming, not generating enough actual income, and liquidating itself slowly to maintain its distribution. This is the financial equivalent of selling furniture to pay your mortgage – unsustainable and a red flag.

• "Constructive" ROC happens when funds use tax strategies to classify distributions as ROC for tax efficiency, even when the economic reality is that they're generating real returns. This is more like getting a tax break on your mortgage payment – potentially quite beneficial.

How can you tell the difference? Watch the NAV trend over time. A steadily declining NAV combined with a high ROC is concerning. A stable or growing NAV alongside ROC distributions suggests the fund is earning its keep.

Tax Considerations: The Underappreciated Bonus

Unlike ordinary dividends that get taxed at your marginal rate (or even the preferential qualified dividend rate), ROC distributions aren't immediately taxable. Instead, they reduce your cost basis in the fund and are only taxed as capital gains when you eventually sell.

This tax deferral can be a significant advantage for long-term holders, like an interest-free loan from Uncle Sam. Remember to keep good records of your adjusted basis if you receive substantial ROC.

Strategy #2: Discount Cycling – Buy the Discount, Sell the Premium

While distributions are the most obvious way to profit from CEFs, savvy investors know that the real money-making potential often lies in the discount/premium cycle. This strategy involves:

1. Buying when discounts are historically wide (getting more assets for your dollar)

2. Holding and collecting distributions while you wait (getting paid for your patience)

3. Selling when discounts narrow or flip to premiums (capital appreciation on top of income)

Let's look at a real example:

• BST (BlackRock Science & Technology Trust) has traded at discounts as wide as -15% and premiums as high as +15% over its history. An investor who bought at a 10% discount and sold at a 5% premium would gain approximately 15% in capital appreciation from the discount/premium cycle alone, not counting the distributions collected along the way or any appreciation in the underlying portfolio.

Tools for Discount Hunters

How do you know when discounts are attractive? Several resources can help:

CEFConnect.com (backed by Nuveen) provides free data on current discounts/premiums and historical ranges.

cefdata.com offers more sophisticated analytics for serious CEF investors, including Z-scores that indicate how unusual the current discount/premium is relative to historical norms.

YCharts.com (if you have a subscription) offers excellent visualization tools for tracking discount trends.

Koyfin.com is another platform (that I subscribe to) that helps you to track and visualize discounts and CEF data.

When to Strike: Discount Buying Opportunities

The best times to find wide CEF discounts often include:

• Year-end tax-loss selling (November-December), when investors dump losers regardless of value

• Interest rate panic periods, which often hit income investments broadly

• Sector-specific downturns that create babies-with-bathwater selling

• Distribution cuts, which often cause excessive sell-offs even when the cut was prudent

Remember Warren Buffett's advice to be "fearful when others are greedy and greedy when others are fearful"? That wisdom applies perfectly to CEF discount shopping.

For instance, many bond-focused CEFs saw their discounts widen dramatically during the 2022-2023 interest rate hikes. Funds like PDI traded at double-digit discounts despite having well-covered distributions, creating opportunities for contrarian income investors.

The Complete CEF Income Strategy

The most successful CEF investors combine both approaches:

1. Build a core portfolio of quality CEFs with sustainable distributions

2. Buy when discounts are historically wide

3. Collect distributions while you wait (potentially reinvesting them if you don't need the income yet)

4. Consider selling or reducing positions when discounts narrow significantly or flip to premiums

5. Repeat with the proceeds, finding the next discounted opportunities

This approach gives you multiple ways to win: distribution income, discount narrowing, and potential appreciation of the underlying assets. It's the investment equivalent of a triple scoop ice cream cone. Why settle for just one flavor of returns?

FEATURED CEF ANALYSIS: UTG (Reaves Utility Income Fund) — The Steady Eddie of the CEF World

If CEFs were personalities at a dinner party, UTG would be that reliable friend who shows up on time, brings an excellent bottle of wine (not too flashy, but quality), and keeps the conversation engaging without dominating it. It won't be the life of the party, but you'll always be glad it came.

Let's dissect what makes UTG (Reaves Utility Income Fund) a potential cornerstone for income investors' portfolios.

Fund Snapshot

Why UTG Deserves Your Attention

1. Distribution Royalty

In the fickle world of high-yield investments, UTG stands out as distribution aristocracy. Since its inception in 2004, the fund has maintained or increased its distribution, with only a single reduction during the 2008 financial crisis. Even better, it occasionally rewards shareholders with special distributions, as evidenced by the significant spikes in the 2005, 2007, and 2017 distribution charts.

The current monthly payout of $0.1900 per share has been maintained since January 2022, representing a 6.77% annualized yield at current prices. For income-focused investors, this consistency is rarer than a politician keeping a campaign promise.

What's particularly impressive about UTG's distributions is the composition. Looking at recent distribution breakdowns, we can see they've been funded predominantly through a combination of investment income and long-term capital gains rather than the destructive return of capital. This suggests the distributions are sustainable and backed by actual portfolio performance rather than simply returning investors' principal.

2. Performance That Defies Utility Stereotypes

Utilities are often dismissed as boring, defensive investments that protect capital but offer little growth. UTG challenges this perception with its performance record:

• 2024: 28.22% total return

• 2023: 2.88% (a challenging year for utilities because of rising rates)

• 2022: -13.29% (negative, but utilities struggled broadly)

• 2021: 14.42%

• 2019: 33.74% (an exceptional year)

The 5-year average annual return has beaten many equity-income ETFs while maintaining lower volatility. UTG has demonstrated the ability to preserve capital during downturns while capturing upside in favorable market conditions. The fund has delivered a total return of over 500% since inception (including distributions), significantly outperforming the S&P 500 Utilities Index over the same period.

3. Smart Leverage Usage

UTG employs approximately 18.19% leverage, which is moderate by CEF standards. This leverage is used to enhance yields without taking excessive risk. The fund's management demonstrated skill in managing this leverage through various interest rate environments.

During the 2022-2023 rate-hiking cycle, many leveraged utility CEFs suffered significantly worse drawdowns than UTG, demonstrating the management team's prudent approach to leverage. With the current interest rate environment stabilizing and potential rate cuts on the horizon, UTG's leverage could become an even stronger tailwind for performance.

4. High-Quality Portfolio Construction

UTG's portfolio comprises 61 holdings with an annual turnover of 51%, showing a balanced approach between strategic long-term positions and tactical adjustments. The portfolio is heavily concentrated in utilities (76.13%) with additional exposure to:

• Communication Services (17.42%)

• Energy (13.70%)

• Real Estate (8.76%)

• Industrials (7.46%)

Top holdings include:

• Talen Energy Corp (7.05%)

• Deutsche Telekom AG (5.88%)

• Entergy Corp (5.81%)

• Vistra Corp (4.68%)

• NiSource Inc (4.55%)

This portfolio construction provides:

• Essential service companies with regulated, predictable cash flows

• Exposure to infrastructure modernization and grid improvement trends

• International diversification (primarily Germany, Canada, Italy, and Norway)

• Companies benefiting from the clean energy transition

The management team at Reaves Asset Management has been investing in utilities and infrastructure since 1961, bringing deep sector expertise that's valuable in this specialized niche.

5. Current Valuation: Rare Buying Opportunity?

UTG historically trades at premiums to NAV, reflecting investor confidence in its management and distribution policy. The current premium of +0.57% is actually below its 5-year average premium of +0.91%.

Z-scores (which measure how current discounts/premiums compare to historical norms) suggest UTG isn't significantly overvalued:

• 3-month Z-score: 0.84

• 6-month Z-score: 0.94

• 1-year Z-score: 0.35

These metrics show that while UTG isn't trading at a deep discount (which rarely happens with this fund), it's not overvalued relative to its own historical trading patterns. For long-term income investors, entering at current levels is reasonable. However, those looking to optimize entry points might consider scaling in, keeping some powder dry for potential wider discounts during market volatility.

The Risks: Nothing Is Perfect, Not Even UTG

As much as we appreciate UTG, transparency demands acknowledging the risks:

1. Interest Rate Sensitivity: Utilities typically underperform in rising rate environments, as we saw in 2022-2023. If inflation resurges and rates rise again, UTG could face headwinds.

2. Leverage Costs: The 18.19% leverage that boosts returns in favorable environments can amplify losses during downturns. The 1.49% interest expense could increase if rates rise.

3. Premium Valuation Risk: While the current premium isn't extreme, UTG rarely trades at significant discounts. Investors hoping for discount narrowing opportunities might be disappointed.

4. Regulatory Risk: Utilities face ongoing regulatory scrutiny that can impact profitability, particularly as the energy transition accelerates.

5. Concentration Risk: The heavy allocation to utilities means limited diversification across sectors.

The Bottom Line: Why UTG Could Be Your CEF Portfolio Cornerstone

UTG excels in what matters most to income investors: reliable monthly distributions, professional management of a high-quality portfolio, moderately effective use of leverage, and a track record spanning multiple market cycles.

UTG deserves consideration as a core holding for investors seeking a "sleep well at night" CEF that still offers attractive income. Its 6.77% distribution rate strikes an excellent balance between yield and sustainability, while its exposure to essential service infrastructure provides defensive characteristics with growth potential.

Action Recommendation: Consider establishing a core position in UTG at current levels, with plans to add during any significant market pullbacks that might create temporary discounts. For a $100,000 income portfolio, a 5-10% allocation to UTG would provide $338-$677 in annual income through consistent monthly payments.

Whether you're a CEF newcomer looking for your first quality fund or a seasoned income investor building a diversified portfolio, UTG offers that rare combination of income, quality, and reliability that's becoming increasingly difficult to find in today's market.

CEF PORTFOLIO CONSTRUCTION: Building Your Income Fortress

Beyond One-Hit Wonders: Creating a CEF Portfolio That Performs in All Seasons

If UTG is the reliable friend at your investment dinner party, a well-constructed CEF portfolio is the ultimate potluck gathering; each fund brings something special to the table, and together they create a feast that satisfies no matter what financial season we're experiencing.

Let's face it: even the best individual CEF can't protect you from every economic storm. That's why savvy income investors build diversified CEF portfolios designed to maintain healthy distributions regardless of whether the economy is booming, inflation is raging, or recession clouds are gathering on the horizon.

The All-Weather CEF Portfolio: Sleep Well, Earn Well

This is a simple design for a very basic "All-Weather CEF Portfolio" (Note: this is NOT investment advice, but merely an exercise to demonstrate how to combine CEFs) to achieve three crucial objectives:

1. Generate substantial monthly income (target: 8-10% annual yield)

2. Preserve capital across different economic environments

3. Provide modest growth potential to fight the silent wealth-killer called inflation

This isn't a theoretical exercise – it's a practical portfolio you could implement tomorrow. Let's break down the ingredients of this income machine:

Portfolio Components

Portfolio Allocation:

• 20% UTG - Core defensive position with steady monthly income

• 20% PDI - Fixed income anchor managed by PIMCO's expert team

• 20% USA - Growth potential with value-oriented equity approach

• 20% RQI - Real asset exposure through quality REITs

• 20% ETJ - Reduced volatility equity exposure with option income

Expected Portfolio Yield: Approximately 9.5% with equal weighting

How This Portfolio Weathers Different Economic Storms

What makes this portfolio special isn't just its impressive yield, but also how the components work together to provide resilience across different economic environments:

Growth Markets

When the economy is firing on all cylinders:

• USA captures equity market upside through its multi-manager approach

• RQI benefits from increasing property values and rising rents

• Even UTG can thrive as utility usage expands with economic growth

Recessionary Environments

When the economy slows and markets turn bearish:

• UTG's focus on essential services provides defensive characteristics

• ETJ's hedged approach + option strategy help mitigate downside

• PDI's active management can navigate challenging credit markets

Inflationary Periods

When the dollar's purchasing power is under attack:

• RQI's real estate exposure acts as an inflation hedge

• UTG's utilities can often pass through cost increases to customers

• USA's equity holdings include companies with pricing power

Low Interest Rate Environments

When yields are difficult to find:

• PDI's flexible mandate allows it to find opportunities across bond sectors

• USA benefits from lower discount rates on future earnings

• All CEFs benefit from cheaper leverage costs, boosting distribution potential

Portfolio Management: Beyond "Set It and Forget It"

This All-Weather portfolio requires occasional maintenance, but nothing that will consume your weekends:

1. Quarterly Health Check: Review NAV performance, distribution coverage, and discount/premium levels

2. Opportunistic Rebalancing: Rather than rigid calendar rebalancing, consider:

   • Adding to positions that move to unusually wide discounts

   • Trimming positions that move to significant premiums

   • Using distribution income to "dollar-cost average" into positions

3. Distribution Management: If not immediately needed for living expenses, consider:

   • Reinvesting distributions when discounts are wide (manually, not DRIP)

   • Taking distributions as cash when premiums develop or better opportunities exist elsewhere

Risk Management: Eyes Wide Open

Every investment strategy has risks, and our All-Weather approach is no exception:

• Leverage Risk: All these CEFs use some degree of leverage, which can amplify downside during severe market dislocations

• Interest Rate Risk: Rising rates can pressure both utility stocks and bond values

• Liquidity Consideration: During severe market stress, CEF discounts can temporarily widen dramatically

The portfolio's diversification helps mitigate these risks, but they can't be eliminated entirely. That's why we recommend this portfolio constitute no more than 30-50% of your overall investment assets, depending on your risk tolerance and income needs.

Implementation Strategy: Building Your Income Fortress

Ready to put this portfolio to work? Here's a practical implementation approach:

For New CEF Investors ($50,000+ to allocate):

1. Staged Entry: Build positions over 2-3 months rather than all at once

2. Discount Hunting: Prioritize purchases when funds trade at wider-than-normal discounts

3. Distribution Timing: Be aware of ex-dividend dates to optimize entry timing

For Existing CEF Investors (looking to restructure):

1. Tax Considerations: Evaluate tax implications of selling existing positions

2. Transition Gradually: Move toward the target allocation over 3-6 months

3. Emphasize Complementarity: Start with funds that best complement your existing holdings

The Bottom Line: Income Without Insomnia

The All-Weather CEF Portfolio isn't designed to shoot the lights out in bull markets. Instead, it aims to deliver something more valuable: consistent income that lets you sleep at night regardless of what CNBC's talking heads are panicking about this week.

With an expected yield of approximately 9.5% delivered through mostly monthly distributions, this portfolio can generate $9,500 annually on a $100,000 investment, or about $792 monthly. That's meaningful income that can supplement retirement needs, fund major expenses, or be reinvested to compound your wealth.

While past performance doesn't guarantee future results (there's our required disclaimer!), this portfolio structure has historically delivered income reliability through market cycles that would make most traditional investments look downright temperamental.

READER Q&A: The CEF Questions You're Too Embarrassed to Ask Elsewhere

Every time we mention CEFs, our inbox gets flooded with questions. Let's address some of the most common head-scratchers:

"If CEFs are so great, why doesn't everyone invest in them?"

For the same reason that not everyone drives a manual transmission car despite potential advantages, they require more knowledge and effort. Most financial advisors stick to what they know and what's easiest to explain. Plus, the big fund companies spend millions marketing ETFs, while CEF providers spend approximately... well, let's say significantly less.

"Are CEF distributions guaranteed?"

If someone guarantees you an investment return, keep one hand on your wallet and use the other to point toward the exit. CEF distributions can … and do … change. However, many CEFs have impressive track records of maintaining consistent distributions through various market cycles. Looking at distribution coverage ratios and NAV trends over time will give you a better sense of sustainability than any promise.

"How do rising interest rates affect CEFs?"

It depends on the CEF's underlying holdings and leverage strategy, but generally:

• Fixed-income CEFs typically face price pressure when rates rise, though floating-rate loan funds may benefit

• The cost of leverage increases, potentially squeezing distribution coverage

• Discounts often widen during rate hike cycles, creating buying opportunities for patient investors

The 2022-2023 interest rate hiking cycle was particularly brutal for many leveraged CEFs, but historically, these periods of pain create the best entry points for long-term investors.

"Can I hold CEFs in retirement accounts?"

Absolutely! Tax-inefficient CEFs (particularly those generating ordinary income or using ROC) are perfect candidates for IRAs, Roth IRAs, and other tax-advantaged accounts. Just be aware that ROC's tax advantages are less relevant inside tax-sheltered accounts.

"How much of my portfolio should be in CEFs?"

This depends on your risk tolerance, income needs, and financial situation. Conservative investors might allocate 10-20% of their portfolio to CEFs, while more aggressive income-seekers might go as high as 30-40%. Diversifying across different CEF types, asset classes, and fund families is prudent, as with most investments.

WHAT INTERESTS YOU MOST ABOUT CEFs?

We're curious! What aspect of Closed-End Funds intrigues you the most? Click the option that most closely matches your interest:

Your feedback helps us tailor future content to your interests in the CEF world!

FINAL THOUGHTS: Your Next Steps in the CEF Journey

If you've made it this far, congratulations! You're now better informed about Closed-End Funds than most investors. While your friends are bragging about their vanilla index ETFs at the next neighborhood barbecue, you can smile quietly, knowing your portfolio generates substantially more income with intriguing discount opportunities.

Three Action Steps for New CEF Investors:

1. Start with quality: Begin your CEF journey with established funds from respected sponsors like PIMCO, BlackRock, Nuveen, or Eaton Vance. UTG and PDI, mentioned earlier, are excellent first CEFs for many investors.

2. Please do your homework: Before buying any CEF, check its discount/premium history, distribution coverage, and leverage levels. These can be found on CEFConnect.com or similar resources.

3. Embrace patience: The biggest CEF investing mistakes happen when people chase yield without considering sustainability or buy/sell based on short-term price movements rather than fundamental value.

Stay Connected with Dividend Dynamo

Did this deep dive into CEFs spark your interest? I'd love to hear about your experiences with CEFs or answer your specific questions. Hit reply to this email with your CEF stories, questions, or suggestions for future topics. The most interesting responses might be featured in our next issue (with your permission, of course).

Until next time, happy income hunting!

Lincoln Wood & the Dividend Dynamo Team

P.S. Forward this email to a friend who complains about low yields on their investments. They'll thank you later, and you'll look like the investing genius you're becoming!